


you’re free now.

by glwingey



Category: Escape from Furnace - Alexander Gordon Smith
Genre: Alternate Universe, Everyone is Dead, Kinda dark?, alex is sad, generalized panic attack, he misses his friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:13:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28019061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glwingey/pseuds/glwingey
Summary: Alex gets out of Furnace. But not really.aka, alex is struggling without his boys.also, zee and simon are dead





	you’re free now.

**Author's Note:**

> alex went through sm during the series I decided to give him some more

He escaped. Not the way he wanted and certainly not as a innocent man. Not that he went in as one either. 

But he was out. The first boy to ever be granted out of Furnace. The only one who’s seen the inside and stay alive to tell the real world. 

He wasn’t him. 

He wasn’t Alex, he stopped being him a long time ago. Alex died when Donavan did. When Zee and Simon were killed, so was he. 

His parents didn’t know what to do with him. What do you say to a child you sent away? You effectively destroyed? You gave permission to do anything they wanted to him? Because of what, a false accusation?

They apologized, a million times over. Pretended not to notice him sleeping on the floor, pushing away his favorite food, shielding his eyes from the sun. They pretended to not see him avoid mirrors, stay out of the kitchen, stand still for minutes on end, staring at nothing. They spoke to him, not about Furnace, they pretended that part of Alex’s life never happened. An elaborate story Alex made up. He never got beaten half to death, he never got locked into a pitch black room with nothing but a tempting razor for days, he never saw the horrors of the lost boys. 

He never killed his best friend. 

They didn’t see him. They didn’t understand, the pillows-

“What are you doing?” 

He jumped. Dropping the pile of couch pillows, putting his hands on his face. 

“Oh-! Oh.” He lowered his hands, seeing the look on his mother’s face. He looked at the now bare couch. “The pillows.” 

“What about them?” She talked quietly, as if he’d run if she raised her voice. 

“Don’t-they’re-“ 

He wouldn’t stop moving. Alex couldn’t see him. His own tears blocked his vision, not that he’d want to see. He can’t decide if the helpless fighting back, or the deafening stillness of his friend was worse. The thin infirmary pillow blocking any chance of new life entering Donavan’s body. 

The blockade Alex forced on him. 

Zee, squeezing him into a heart crushing hug. Sobbing into each other, “you’re free now.” A mantra he never seemed to forget. It was only now, under the terrorized look of his mother and the pillows at his feet he asked. 

“What did I do?” He all but screamed. “What did I do? What did I do?”

He could only imagine the insanity of his eyes, staring at his mother, like she had any answers for him. 

“Alex-“

“That’s not my name!” He yelled. Alex was a boy. A little boy who wanted to be a magician. Who wanted to show people the way he felt, wanted to protect the ones he loved. 

That wasn’t him anymore. 

He fell to the floor, surrounded by the weapon that destroyed his best friend. The only person who seemed to see what Alex did, a bit hesitantly. The boy who wanted to escape with only him. 

He couldn’t breathe, he tried, too hard, he sounded like one of the wheezers, which sped into more panic. He pushed his own face into a pillow, a sorry attempt to end whatever he was doing. Breathing, maybe, living? He couldn’t. Not after what he’s done. 


End file.
